Night Blind
by jublke
Summary: Now living on Coruscant with Leia and the twins, Han has to deal with the long-term effects of having been frozen in carbonite. AU [Not complete]
1. Chapter 1

First off, if you've been following my other story, _A Cause for Concern_, thank you and my apologies. This piece has been rattling around in the back of my head and I needed to set it down. Remember in my author's note where I said I write fanfiction when I'm stressed out? Life is very stressful right now. No worries, I will get back to the other story. :)

This is a work of fan-fiction. _Star Wars _was conceived by George Lucas and is now owned by Disney. Sadly, I make no profit from this.

This piece is set after ROTJ, when Han and Leia are living on Coruscant with the twins, before Anakin is born. I have tried to keep this piece compatible with my other _Star Wars_ stories, and I do make reference to them. Although I have tried to keep to canon and the EU where possible, this piece is definitely AU. _Author's warning: In this story, I do not promise to put the characters back in place when I am finished. I might, I might not, I haven't decided. If that offends you, you probably won't like this piece._

My sincere thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading and a nod to my son for reminding me that no civilized person would take a walk along Coruscant's roads. Any remaining errors are mine.

* * *

The first time that Leia realized something was wrong with Han was five days after his speeder accident. The accident alone should have been a warning flag - it was so unlike Han to have been in a collision - but the skies that night had been full of them. It had been dark, rainy, and smoggy, and since the other driver was cited for an illegal merge, Leia hadn't thought too much about it. But when she and Han went out to dinner almost a week later at a new bistro near their apartment, the problem became apparent.

It was rare to find a good restaurant near home and Han and Leia delighted in the opportunity dine alone, leaving toddlers Jaina and Jacen safely in the care of Uncle Chewie and C-3PO. The food was good, the company better, and after dessert the couple took a leisurely ride through Coruscant. The night was perfect until Han turned directly into the path of a fast-moving airspeeder.

Leia yanked the wheel seconds before impact. "What are you doing, you nerfherder? You could have gotten us killed! How much did you have to drink at dinner? Pull over!"

Han parked the vehicle in the nearest available slot and sat, head bowed with his hands clutching the wheel. "I ..." He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not drunk, Leia. I didn't see it coming." A rare show of vulnerability crossed his features as he raised his eyes to her.

"Didn't see it coming?" Leia repeated loudly. "It was an airspeeder, for gods sake! How could you possibly have missed - "

Her voice broke off when she caught the look on Han's face. _Oh, gods. _She felt dizzy as her heart began to race. _This can't be happening. Not to us. Not now. We have children to raise._

Studying her husband, Leia took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Han appeared equally shattered by his disclosure.

Instinctively, she drew him close and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Leia could hear his heart thrumming wildly in his chest, a testament to how frightened he was, how near the miss had been.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she whispered. "I'm here. I signed on for better or worse. I'm not going anywhere."

He drew back and gave her one of his patented crooked smiles. "I know. But I think you'd better drive us home tonight."

They resumed their evening, but nothing felt the same. Leia knew their lives had been irrevocably altered.

* * *

Ambassador Leia Organa-Solo never took time off of work. Even when pregnant with the twins, she had insisted on working right up until her due date and had returned to work as soon as the doctor had allowed her to after the children were born. A leave of absence was unprecedented and Mon Mothma was worried. She called Leia into her office to ask her about the request for time off.

"Leia, you are a disciplined worker and a loyal member of the New Republic. I have no problem granting your leave, but I did notice that you didn't put a date of return on this form."

Leia's hands twisted in her lap. "I don't know when I'll be able to return to work." Her voice nearly broke over the words.

"Is everything all right?" Mon asked, knowing the answer. She handed the trembling woman a tissue.

Leia dabbed at her eyes. "My family needs me," she said simply. Mon knew it must be so much more than that, but Leia was stubborn. She wouldn't discuss her problems until she was good and ready.

"Gods speed, Leia. We'll be here when you get back."

Leia gave her a brave smile and slipped out the door. Mon Mothma sighed and wondered when - if? - her protégé would return.

* * *

_Everything feels wrong_, Leia thought, sitting in Chewie's chair on the _Millennium Falcon._ She had flown as co-pilot a number of times for Han during their courtship and marriage, but never with Luke at the helm. She gave her brother a weak smile. "Co-pilot checks complete."

He nodded. _Are you okay?_ Leia heard his words in her mind.

"As much as I'm going to be," she replied out loud. "Take her up."

As soon as she and Luke had set the coordinates on the hyperdrive, Leia went in search of Han. The ship wasn't that big; there weren't too many places he could hide.

It still took her awhile. She finally found him curled up in a corner of the cargo bay, sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees. "Hey," she said softly. "We're in hyperspace." She felt silly saying the words; he knew his ship well enough to know that. But she felt she had to say something. Ever since the night of their date, he had been pulling away from her. "It's about six hours to Talfaglio. I comm'ed Dr. Habib. He said he'll squeeze you in whenever we can get there."

Han nodded. "You should try to take a nap." The twins had been a handful the previous night. Leia felt relieved to know they'd be safe with Chewie and C-3PO for a night or two while she and Han were gone. Maybe she could finally get some rest. But she felt guilty for even thinking that, given the circumstances.

"I'd sleep better if you were with me," she cajoled, holding her breath.

When Han slid out of the crawl space to join her, Leia breathed deeply for the first time in days.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews, StatsGrandma57, ccp, EsmeAmelia, Freshman11 and Book girl fan. :) Book girl fan, I hope this chapter answers your question. I don't think Leia knew precisely what was going on, but I think she had a pretty good idea. StatsGrandma57, I am glad that your husband has found a treatment that helps with his condition. *HUGS* I am blind in one eye, so I can sympathize with the uncertainty that comes from living with serious vision problems.

My thanks to my husband for discussing Han's treatment options with me. I also appreciate 2Old4This2's beta-reading, which led me to re-write a section.

* * *

Luke sat in the doctor's office with Leia, holding her hand. "Can you sense anything?" Leia asked, scooting closer to her brother. "How's he doing?" she whispered.

Luke shrugged. "Han's really good at blocking me when he's upset. I can tell he's unhappy, but that's about it." He dropped Leia's hand and patted her on the arm. "Try to think about something else."

Grabbing some magazines, Leia began absently leafing through them. She tried to read an article about parenting twins, but it was pointless. Her brain began sifting through recent memory, looking for clues, and came up with several: the rare clear night when Han had been unable to spot the first evening star with her from their balcony, his increasingly frequent nightly stumbles over the children's toys left on the living room floor, the accident - the kriffing speeder accident - that probably could have been avoided if Han had only seen the other driver before she had plowed into him.

Her stomach was in knots. When Luke handed her a cup of tea, Leia realized that she hadn't even noticed that he had been gone.

Luke placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze before sitting opposite her. "Don't worry. He's in good hands, right?"

Leia nodded. Dr. Habib had been Han's retinal specialist for years, ever since his six-month stint as frozen wall art in Jabba's palace. Carbonite freezing had been hard on Han's eyes and it had taken him months to fully recover his vision. He had been left with a few small gaps in his visual field, but he had adjusted quickly. Fortunately, the damage was minimal and his eyesight had remained stable over the years. But Dr. Habib had often warned them that further retinal degradation was possible. The course of Han's condition was unknown and unprecedented. The best thing they could do was to make sure that Han had regular eye exams. When Dr. Habib had moved his practice from Coruscant to Talfaglio, Han and Leia had followed him there. It was worth a yearly trip through hyperspace for Han to see a doctor that they both trusted, one who knew his unique medical history and wouldn't sell his story to the holoshills.

She swallowed hard. This exam was taking far longer than his usual checkups and she could feel the dread rising from the pit of her stomach. Finally, the exam room door opened. But instead of Han coming out, the doctor beckoned her in.

"Ambassador Organa-Solo?" the doctor said.

Leia stood and grabbed Luke by the arm. "Come with me!" she hissed.

The retinal specialist looked surprised as Luke approached. "This is my brother, Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker," Leia said by way of introduction. "Luke, this is Dr. Habib." The two men politely shook hands before the twins followed Dr. Habib down the hall and entered his office.

Han was sitting in one of the doctor's guest chairs, staring at the floor, arms folded, his mouth set in a thin line. Leia had seen that expression before when the _Falcon_ malfunctioned and they were bracing for impact. She sat next to him and held his hand. Due to a lack of chairs, Luke remained standing in the back of the room. Leia could feel her brother projecting a Jedi-like calm over the office.

Dr. Habib cleared his throat and sat behind his desk. "As you suspected, Han's vision has deteriorated since your last visit. There is now a noticeable visual field deficit causing a partial loss of peripheral vision. Retinal degeneration has led to night blindness." As Leia squeezed Han's hand, Dr. Habib made eye contact with her. "I've recommended that Captain Solo give up his captain's accredited license for the _Millennium Falcon_. With care, he should still be able to fly a speeder during the day. I'll have to prepare a special medical note with a summary of today's visit for you to take to the medical examiner."

Leia realized that she was holding onto Han so tightly that he was probably losing circulation in his fingers. She let go and Han's hand immediately covered his face. _Is he crying?_ Leia glanced back at Luke and the Jedi instantly moved to stand directly behind the couple, a hand on each of them for support.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "I wish I had better news. Han's vision could stabilize with this loss or he may experience further visual degradation over time. I want to see you again within six standard months and we can go from there." He slid a small flimsy across his desk. "I've prescribed spectacles for Han to address mild myopia and astigmatism. Normally, I would have treated him for this in the office with a standard vision adjustment, but I don't want to run the risk of further damage to his retinas." Leia reached for the flimsy, but Han grabbed it first and shoved it into his pocket.

The doctor steepled his fingers and rested his chin on his hands. "I wish I could offer you an easy fix, but I'm afraid there isn't one at this time. Unfortunately, surficial bacta patches can't be used to treat the back of the eye. Bacta can be introduced intraocularly, but this procedure has only shown limited success for retinal damage. That leaves us with surgical options. Given your history of carbonite freezing, Han, your optic nerves are at a greater risk than normal for surgical complications. There is much that we don't know about the long-term impacts of carbonite on the human eye, but what we do know isn't encouraging. I strongly recommend waiting on any elective surgical procedures until you are certain that the potential benefit outweighs the risk." Leia swallowed hard and she felt Luke give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"That said, there are several possible treatment options that we should discuss." The doctor pushed three flimsies across the desk and Leia snatched them up. "A retinal transplant, either using your cloned cells or those from a donor, is one option. The success rate for this surgery is good, better when using cloned cells. However, most retinal transplant patients report mild visual field deficits even after surgery, and the recovery period can take six months or longer in a patient with no other problems. Given your medical history, Han, retinal surgery poses a non-negligible risk of permanent optic nerve damage. Complete eye replacement, using a bionic eye, is a second option, but this treatment is still in the testing phase. Hopefully, this will become a viable choice in the near future. Optical implant surgery is a third option. This could be used to address your myopia and astigmatism, but at this time implants can't restore a visual field deficit. They are only useful for correcting defects in visual acuity. If you go this route, I'd prefer that you wait until your myopia stabilizes so that you limit the number of surgeries that you might require over time. Personally, I think glasses are a safer choice for you."

Dr. Habib paused. "Do you have any questions? I know that was a lot of information to take in at once."

Leia cleared her throat. "If I understood correctly, you don't recommend any treatment for Han now unless his vision gets worse?" _How is that possible? The man nearly drove into a speeder! How much worse can things get?_

Dr. Habib nodded. "Apart from needing spectacles, I don't recommend any treatment for Han at this time. I think the risks of surgery outweigh the benefits for now. Should Han's condition worsen, or if there are any new surgical advances, my recommendation might change." He pushed another flimsy across the table. Leia caught a glance at the title: _Coping With Night Blindness_. She added it to her stack.

"Thank you for your time, doctor." Leia offered her hand to the man and he stood and shook it and then shook Luke's hand as well. Han, his face still covered, ignored all of them.

"Please, take all the time you need." As the doctor slipped out of the room, he added, "You have my private comm number. Feel free to contact me at any time."

Leia swallowed over the lump in her throat and looked back at her brother, who openly had tears in his eyes. _I'm so sorry, Leia_, she heard Luke say in her mind.

The twins turned to the man in the chair, who hadn't moved or responded for some time. Leia stood before him and peeled his hand from his face. "Han?" He looked up at her, red-eyed, lips trembling. She and Luke pulled him into a standing position and he fell into Leia's arms, clinging to her like a drowning man. The back of her head was soon wet with his tears. Luke wrapped his arms around both of them, and Leia could feel him projecting calmness and love.

But it didn't help. She still felt terrified.

* * *

A couple of notes - I am not an ophthalmologist, although I have spent a lot of time in eye doctor's offices. In our galaxy, we don't yet have "standard vision adjustments" or optical implants that magically erase the need for glasses. (I wish we did!) In researching this chapter, I learned that there is promising research going on right now with retinal replacement. Hopefully, our doctors will have better success.

As far as Han goes, I think he got off awfully easy in the movies, given that he spent six months frozen in an experimental treatment that might have killed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews, Book girl fan, EsmeAmelia, and StatsGrandma57! And thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading. :)

* * *

Mon Mothma was eating her breakfast when the newscasters turned to local gossip. After the usual array of tabloid fodder - broken marriages between popular beings who had been married less than a year, new babies, celebrity sightings - there was a clip that made Mon pause with her spoon halfway to her mouth.

"Ambassador Organa-Solo! Ambassador Organa! Leia!"

The holoshill caught the Princess standing outside of a medical facility on Talfaglio at dusk, one arm tightly entwined around her husband. Her brother, the Jedi Knight, stood on Han Solo's other side, as if supporting the man. Mon dropped her spoon.

The look Princess Leia threw the holoshill should have rendered him dead. "No comment," she said firmly.

"A source saw your family entering the eye clinic on the fourth floor," the man blabbed. "I do hope that everything is all right. There are rumors that your husband - " The holoshill paused mid-sentence, eyes wide. Luke Skywalker had fixed him with a curious stare. Shaking his head, the man continued, "That's all from here. Back to you, Ted."

As the news continued, Mon retrieved her spoon. But instead of eating, she thought over what she knew of the retired general's health. She had heard a rumor once that the man was partially blind due to time spent frozen in carbonite. However, given the outlandishness of the claim and the fact that Han Solo ran his own galaxy-wide shipping business, she'd never given much credence to the story. Recently, she knew, he'd been in a speeder accident. But that was about all that came to mind. The Solos were notoriously private.

Mon thought back to the look on Princess Leia's face when the holocamera had first caught her image: defiant, tear-streaked, protective. Her posture was telling, as was her brother's. Something was seriously wrong with her husband. Mon offered a silent prayer to the gods for their protection. She wished there was more she could do to help.

* * *

Luke began apologizing the minute that they were safely aboard the _Falcon_, holoshills no longer in sight. He leaned against the bulkhead of the entry hall. "Guys, I am so sorry. I should have caught that reporter before - "

"Don't worry about it, kid," Han interrupted, patting him on the shoulder as he passed by. "Bound to happen sooner or later." He yawned. "I'm heading to bed."

"Without dinner?" Leia slipped Luke a worried glance before turning to her husband.

Han gave her a frosty look. "Would you quit that? Both of you?" He frowned at Luke and Leia in turn. "I'm fine. I don't need you to babysit me. I just want to be alone right now. Stop trying to probe my thoughts." As his wife and brother-in-law murmured their apologies, Han put his hands on his hips and glared at them. "Ya wanna know what I'm thinkin' right now? I'm thinkin' that my life is a pile of sithspit." With that, he stomped off. Luke and Leia heard the captain's door slide closed with a thud.

Leia sighed as she sat on the lounge sofa. "I suppose I'd better comm home. I have no idea what to tell them." She turned to her brother, eyes overly bright, and he grasped her hand and sat next to her.

"We'll make the comm together," he said.

C-3PO answered. "Mistress Leia! Master Luke! Is it ever so good to see you! The children are resting quietly - " A blur of color and a giggle streaked by. "Oh, my," the protocol droid fussed. "The children -were- resting quietly. Master Jacen! Come back here with that. Mistress Jaina!"

As the golden droid shuffled off, Chewie's face came into view. *How is Han?* he growled.

Leia's lower lip trembled and she knew she would start to cry if she opened her mouth. Luke wrapped an arm around her and she buried her face into his shoulder.

Chewie's growls grew louder. *Where is my cub? Is he all right?*

"Han's all right, Chewie. But he's ..." Luke's voice trailed off, as he tried to find the right words to express what he wanted to say. "He's going to need a lot of support from us," he finished, lamely.

Chewbacca looked thoughtful. *His eyes are worse.*

Luke nodded. "A lot worse."

The big Wookiee looked like he was on the verge of tears. *He can no longer fly the _Falcon_.*

Leia's head snapped up, and she gave the Wookiee a sharp look. "How did you know that?"

Chewie shook his head sadly and gave a series of low growls and moans. *I tried to talk to him about it a few weeks ago. He made a serious piloting error. It was not like Han.*

Luke and Leia exchanged a glance. "What did Han say?" Leia asked.

*He told me to mind my own kriffing business, that no one was perfect.* Chewie whuffed sadly. *I am sorry that my fears have been confirmed.*

"I'm sorry, too," Leia whispered. In a firmer voice, she added, "We should be home tomorrow, Chewie. Please give the twins my love and let C-3PO have a can of the good oil."

The Wookiee smiled and signed off.

The minute the comm ended, Leia was on her feet, heading toward the captain's quarters. "Hanford Aloysius Solomon!" Eyes blazing, she stormed into the room where her husband was resting and turned up the lights.

"Wha'?" Han looked at her from the bed, bleary-eyed. "Sleepin' here."

"I just spoke with Chewbacca. He informed me that you almost crashed the _Falcon_ a few weeks ago. How many near accidents were you planning on having before you told me there was a problem? How long has this been going on?"

Han blinked rapidly, trying to wake up. "A few months?"

"A few months! Han, you could have killed someone!"

"Now, hold on," he said, sounding a little more alert. He moved into a seated position, still wrapped in the quilt. "You knew I was having problems, too, but you didn't put it together either."

Leia thought of the night with the missing star, and nodded reluctantly.

"It's easy to see, looking back," Han argued. He wrapped his arms around his blanketed knees, looking like the lost little boy he once had been, and Leia's heart began to soften.

"How did Chewie take it?" he asked quietly, and Leia felt her remaining anger dissipate. She sat next to him and rubbed his back.

"He was sad, but he wasn't surprised."

Han closed his eyes. Leia kept rubbing, trying to erase the tension in his shoulders. "I love you, you nerfherder," she whispered.

His eyes popped open and he turned to smile at her. "I love you, too, your highnessness," he said with a yawn.

Leia pushed him over so that his head was once again resting on the pillow, and she snuggled in behind him, spooning his back. It wasn't long before Han's breathing became slow and regular. But Leia could not rest. She rubbed Han's back absently as terrible images - Han bleeding from the eyes, her husband screaming in terror, Han walking in front of a moving speeder - flooded her mind. She knew that these were not actual Force visions, but she was afraid to fall asleep for fear that the real future might be even worse.


	4. Chapter 4

My thanks to EsmeAmelia, StatsGrandma57, and jeanmarie3 for your comments. EsmeAmelia, I really don't know yet what's going to happen to Han in this story. I have some ideas, but until I get them down on paper, they're kind of like Force visions - possible representations of the future. My thanks again to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading.

* * *

Han Solo awoke to an uneasy feeling. He stared for a moment at his wife; even with Leia wrapped tightly in his arms, it was hard for him to see her in the dark. Han swallowed. For weeks now, he had intended to check the emergency lighting in the _Falcon_ to determine why it had dimmed recently. Understanding the real source of the problem - his eyesight had dimmed instead - only heightened Han's anxiety.

Kissing his wife's forehead, he gently slipped away from her and headed toward the cockpit. Fortunately, he knew the layout of his ship like the back of his hand, poor lighting or not. What Han didn't anticipate were Luke's boots, one right after the other, directly in his path.

"Kest!" he hissed.

Luke, wrapped in a blanket on the lounge sofa, murmured in his sleep. "Y'okay?"

"Fine, Luke, go back to sleep," he whispered, rubbing his toe. Han wondered for the millionth time why Luke refused to stay in Chewie's quarters.

He made it to the pilot's chair without further incident and sat down to run his hands over the controls. It just wasn't fair. He loved flying almost as much as he loved his family. Han could remember thinking the same thing years ago, when he was suffering through the worst of the post-hibernation syndrome, wondering if he would ever fly again. Now he had his answer.

_No_.

He could feel the lump forming in his throat and he tried to think of something else, anything to take his mind off of his current circumstances. Looking out the window into the darkened spaceport, he thought he saw movement. Was someone down there looking back at him? He squinted at a human-shaped blur below. _Kest_! His eyes weren't strong enough to tell.

_Luke! Get up here!_

Han didn't think he'd said the words aloud, but his brother-in-law appeared in the cockpit moments later, rubbing his eyes. "What's up?"

"I think there's someone down there, watching us."

Luke peered down. "Kriffing holoshill."

Han grinned. "Nice language, junior."

But Luke wasn't paying attention to Han. His mind was focused on the tabloid reporter below, his facial features contorted with intense concentration. Within minutes, the man was walking away.

"How do you do that?" Han gave him a saucy smile.

Luke relaxed and grinned back at his brother-in-law. "It's a talent." He walked over to sit in the co-pilot's chair. "I have a better question. How did you get me to come up here?"

Han shrugged. "You were already half-awake. I tripped over your boots. Nice of you to leave your flarg lying all over my ship."

"You called me up here."

"So?"

"So, you didn't use any words. I think you're more Force sensitive than you realize."

Rolling his eyes, Han said, "Trust me, kid. I have no Force ability. You know that. You made me take the same tests you gave your sister."

Luke crossed his arms and set his jaw. "I think you're wrong. I told you so, then, too. Tests don't show everything. You've got a gift and you really ought to develop it. Especially now."

Han folded his arms and spoke to the floor. "You honestly think it would make a difference?"

"I really do." Warming to the topic, Luke flashed a grin. "It's the most amazing thing, being in touch with the Force. It's like having a sixth sense - "

Luke went on, but Han's mind caught on one phrase and tuned out the rest._ A sixth sense, huh. One to replace vision when my eyes finally give out on me? _He swallowed hard and held a hand up to stop the Jedi's monologue. "I'll think about it, Luke, okay?" His voice came out weaker than he'd intended, but fortunately, Luke was one of the few people in the galaxy that Han trusted not to kick him when he was down.

"All right, Han," his brother-in-law said, with equal measures of patience and worry. "Do you want company while you sit here or should I just head back to bed?"

"How about you get the Corellian brandy from the galley and share a glass with me?"

Luke rarely drank, and Han knew it was a reflection of his brother-in-law's deep concern that the young man did as he suggested. Returning from the galley with two snifters, Luke gave Han the fuller of the two glasses and sat back down near him.

"So what are we drinking to?"

"To family," Han replied, clinking his glass against Luke's. But having misjudged the distance, Han's glass hit Luke's with too much force and brandy spilled on Luke's nightclothes. "Sorry, kid."

Han was startled by how upset and embarrassed he felt by the error. _So, this is what it's going to be like from now on? One kriffing humiliation after another? _He pressed his hand against his eyes and tried not to cry. _Kest! I'm a gibbering idiot._

Luke set his glass aside. "It's okay to cry, you know," he said gently, placing a hand on Han's shoulder.

"Will you get out of my thoughts, already?" Han growled, but he reached for Luke just the same. After a short hug, he pulled away. "Maybe I do want to be alone," he admitted, swiping at one eye with his sleeve.

Luke withdrew, taking his glass with him. "Call me if you need me." His voice brightened. "Or just think a call in my direction. I'll get it."

Han didn't need to see the man to know that the Jedi was smiling. "Thanks, Luke."

"Anytime, brother."

Han sat alone in the cockpit for a long time, sipping his brandy and waiting for the first fingers of daylight to sneak beneath the closed bay doors of the spaceport. Only after dawn, when the hangar had brightened enough for Han to see reasonably well, did the man fall back asleep, slack-jawed and snoring in the captain's chair.


	5. Chapter 5

My thanks to StatsGrandma57 and Book girl fan for your reviews, and to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading.

* * *

When Han awoke, he found that someone had covered him in a blanket. Stretching his shoulders, he noted with dismay that his neck had cramped from sleeping upright in the pilot's chair. Glancing at the chrono and then at the busy spaceport below, he realized just how late in the day it was. _Why haven't we left yet? _The answer was obvious: Leia and Luke must have thought letting him sleep to be more important than rushing home.

The thought of leaving for Coruscant made Han's stomach hurt. On the flight here, he had still retained the hope that maybe there was a simple solution to his vision problems, something Dr. Habib could easily treat. Instead, the message he'd heard was: _Learn to live with it. Things could always be worse and, one day soon, they probably will be. _Flying home meant stepping into a new reality, one in which he was no longer in control.

Han stood and headed for the refresher. He found Luke and Leia at the Dejarik table, deep in conversation. They each raised a hand in greeting - eerily in tandem - and went back to whatever they were doing.

After a shower and a fresh change of clothes, Han felt better. He grabbed a cup of caf from the galley and joined his family in the lounge.

"What're you working on?" Both of the twins started and gave him slightly guilty looks. Han frowned and snagged the flimsy. On it, they had written a list of ways to cope with his newfound disability: hiring a pilot for the shipping business, adding more night lights in the apartment, finding a local eye doctor who could see Han in case of an emergency, installing new track lighting inside the _Falcon_, securing reliable transportation for when Han needed to travel alone after dark, buying toy bins for the living room, issuing a press release ...

Knotting his eyebrows, Han growled at Leia, "You can't be serious."

She raised an eyebrow back at him. "What?"

"A press release? You're going to issue a press release about this?" He threw the flimsy down with such force that it slid across table and landed on the floor.

"Han, I think it might be a good idea," Luke said as he retrieved the flimsy. "There was another reporter outside of the ship this morning."

"So what? You're saying we should feed the trash now?" Han took a swig of caf and shook his head.

"He's saying that people are going to notice when you quit flying your ship, show up around town wearing spectacles, and stop escorting me to evening events."

"Who says I'm going to stop going out with you? So now you're embarrassed to be seen with me? Afraid I might do something to make you look bad?"

Leia rolled her eyes. "You've never liked attending official functions anyway. I just thought - "

"Well, maybe you thought wrong, your high-and-loftiness!" Han stood and glared at her. "Maybe I don't need you telling me what I can and can't do." His voice thundered through the ship. "And I definitely don't want you telling the holoshills that I'm half blind!" Han slammed the cup of caf on the table and stormed out of the lounge.

* * *

With Han locked in the captain's quarters, the flight home was deadly quiet. When they left hyperspace to enter Coruscant's atmosphere, he finally poked his head into the cockpit.

"Hey, Han," Luke acknowledged with a tip of his head. Leia glanced at her husband, but said nothing.

Han strapped in behind Leia and watched his wife and brother-in-law pilot his ship home. It was a painful reminder of his infirmity. Due to the low lighting in the cockpit and their late arrival time, it was hard for him to see anything clearly, and if he was being honest with himself, it was a relief not to be at the helm. He had only flown once since his near-fatal accident with Chewie, and he had white-knuckled it the entire time. Han was glad that his best friend hadn't told Leia just how near that miss had been. She would still be yelling at him now if she knew. Despite this, he still wanted to pilot; his fingers automatically grasped at invisible controls.

Even though Han couldn't see Luke well, he could feel the Jedi was developing some finesse with the old girl. He needed to convince Leia to get her captain's accredited license for the _Millennium Falcon_ too. At the thought of adding a coping-with-night-blindness strategy to Leia's master list, Han had to smile. She would be pleased that he was finally contributing something.

As Luke approached the roof of the apartment complex, Leia snapped, "What are they doing here?"

Han squinted at the scene below and noticed a dark blur where one didn't belong. "Holoshills?" he guessed.

"Six of them," Luke confirmed, as he landed the ship on the roof. "Blast it! I can't divert all six of them at once. I wonder how they got up here?" He frowned.

"The hangar and speeder lots are public property," Leia said with a sigh. "I'm just not ready to face them," she added, with uncharacteristic weariness. "But the longer we ignore them, the worse they seem to get."

"Well, who says you have to face them? It's me they want." Leia and Luke both turned to stare at Han. "The roof is well-lit and it's only a short walk to the back door of the apartment complex. They can't follow me onto private property. I'll walk out alone, give them a few 'no comments', and the story will go away. You can wait to come in until after they've left."

"I don't know, Han," Luke said, shaking his head. "I've got a bad - "

" - feeling about this," Han and Leia finished in tandem, and all three laughed.

Leia nodded at Han. "I agree with you. Once they see there's no story here, they'll move on to something else." She looked him in the eye. "But only if you're up for it."

He stood, walked over, and kissed her forehead. "Relax. I've got this."

Han's confidence lasted until he stepped off the ramp of the _Falcon_ and his feet touched duracrete. It was darker on the roof than he had realized, and the lighting was variable, depending upon how close he stood to the artificial lights. Han hadn't walked more than ten feet before the gaggle of holoshills descended upon him like the fresh meat that he was.

"Captain Solo, rumor has it that you visited a retinal specialist on Talfaglio. Is that true?"

"Han, is it true that you were frozen in carbonite?"

"Mr. Organa-Solo, are you going blind?"

"No comment." The backlights on the reporters' holocams distracted Han, making it hard for him to keep the rear door in his line of sight. He blinked for a moment and squinted, trying to focus, and a holoshill snapped a shot of his discomfort.

Instantly, Han couldn't see a thing. The sudden flash followed by darkness left him temporarily blinded. Heart pounding, he stood stock still on the roof, petrified. The holoshills kept snapping. The interplay of light and dark was too much for his damaged retinas to interpret. Han became disoriented and started to feel dizzy. He realized with an acute sense of panic that he was swaying on his feet, right in front of the holoshills, the exact opposite of the outcome he had intended. _Kest_!

"Captain Solo, are you all right?" A kind voice sounded in his ear, and Han grabbed the man's arm and clung to him like a lifeline. "Hey, back off, man," the reporter shouted at one of the other holoshills. "Give him some air."

Han could hear Luke in the background, working his Jedi magic, convincing at least one reporter that there was no story here and that he needed to go home. The other reporters' voices faded, as did Luke's. He must have led them away from the roof. All except one ...

The unseen man wrapped an arm around Han and gently propelled him forward.

"Where are you taking me?" Han tried to keep the fear out of his voice, but he knew he was trembling and the man could surely feel it.

"Han!" Leia's voice. The reporter let go and her arms went around his neck. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I had no idea that they would - "

"Excuse me." Han drew away from Leia when the reporter spoke. His vision was finally starting to clear, and he looked in surprise at his rescuer. The young man was a Rodian; how could he have missed that? "I think you should make a statement to the press."

Han's eyes narrowed. "And you'd get the scoop, right? Get the hells out of here." He folded his arms and Leia placed her hand in the crook of his elbow.

"You don't understand. Look, I'll delete my holographs if it makes you feel better." He held out his holocamera in his green hands. "But some of those other guys got snaps and holograms too, and trust me, they ain't too flattering. That's gonna hit galactic news before tomorrow. You make a statement to me now and we can put a stop to that."

"How?" Leia asked.

"It's the law on Coruscant that reporters have to maintain a 75-foot distance from disabled celebrities at all times unless they have their consent, for safety reasons. Publishing those holograms and graphs would be admitting that they broke the law."

"Disabled?" Han could barely speak the word. "You're calling me ... disabled?" As he fisted his hands, Han felt Leia squeeze his elbow, hard, a silent admonishment not to hit the man.

"Look, I don't know what's wrong with you, sir, but with all due respect, you got a serious problem." Han glanced at his wife; she was biting her lip. The Rodian continued. "You don't make a statement now, who knows what they're gonna do."

Han inclined his head slightly toward the Rodian; Leia nodded.

"Okay," Han said with a sigh. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

_**Retired General Han Solo confirms that he is now night blind.**_

Galactic War hero Han Solo, husband of Ambassador Leia Organa-Solo, has recently been diagnosed with a serious retinal condition that has rendered him night blind and unable to pilot spacecraft. Solo Shipping Services will continue business as usual. Applications are currently being accepted for a lead pilot. The Solo family requests that the public respect their privacy during this difficult time. No further statements will be issued.


	6. Chapter 6

My thanks to GreatOne, EsmeAmelia, ccp, Book girl fan, chibijem, and StatsGrandma57 for your reviews. GreatOne, I liked your "Han is blind" stories too, and I think I borrowed about a quart of _Star Wars _spackle from you to fill in a few gaps here and there. Thanks for sharing!

I appreciate the keen eye of 2Old4This2 in beta-reading; this chapter is much improved due to her input. And my thanks also to my teen son, who humors his mother by beta-reading her fanfic. You two are both awesome!

* * *

Han Solo removed his new spectacles, rubbed his eyes, and dropped his head on the desk with a thud. The week since the public announcement disclosing his condition had been a long and painful one. Thankfully, Teec Farrd, the Rodian reporter - Han could no longer think of him as a mere holoshill - had been true to his word, and most of the damning footage taken by the other holoshills had never made it to the public eye. But the single hologram that had leaked out before Han had issued his statement exposed the severity of his condition. Han had looked so lost and disoriented - so frail - alone on the roof, that the first time he saw footage of himself, he ran to the refresher and threw up.

Old friends and acquaintances had come calling, sending fruit baskets and flowers and notes of sympathy. Before she had returned to work, Leia had taken to diverting the packages directly to Coruscant's medcenters for distribution to the needy. A handful of job applications had rolled in, too, and Han had spent the week interviewing pilots to take over his old route. The thought of sending the _Falcon_ out with anyone other than Chewie and himself turned his stomach; no one was good enough to fly his ship. And Chewie wasn't even talking to him at present. Han had a shipment that needed to go out by next week at the latest, and he had ordered Chewie to fly freight with the new pilot, whomever he or she might be. Before the silent treatment, Chewbacca had made his disapproval known - he was terribly worried about Han and didn't want to leave his side, especially since Han had spent the past week drinking himself to sleep.

"Sir?" C-3PO poked his head into Han's home office, a toddler balanced on each golden hip. "There's someone at the door. Shall I answer it?"

Han lifted his head and had to smile as his twins grabbed and prodded the golden droid. He almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"I'll get it, 3PO," he said, replacing his glasses and standing up. He poked the protocol droid as he passed by. "Take the twins to their bedroom." Leia and Han tried to shield the children from the public eye whenever possible, but they generally didn't worry too much at home since Chewbacca was formidable enough to deter most would-be attackers.

"Yes, Master Han."

Han peered out the peephole and did a double-take when he saw who was on the other side. "Lando!" He greeted the man warmly as he opened the door. "Long time, no see, you old gambler!" The two men embraced.

The man in the purple velvet cape drew back and Han realized that Lando was staring at his spectacles. "Uh, right," Lando mumbled, but he quickly recovered his charm. "How're you doing, Han?" He flashed his brilliant smile.

Han shrugged as he led Lando into his office and offered him a seat. "You've seen the news."

Lando made a sympathetic face as they both sat down. "Let me get right to the point. I know you're going through a tough time. I don't want you and Leia to have to worry about money too. Let me buy Solo Shipping Services. I'm prepared to offer this much." He slid a small flimsy across the desk and Han had to fight not to goggle at the number of credits listed there.

"What does that include?" he asked.

"All assets and stock options, your entire client roster, and the _Falcon_."

Han's eyes narrowed. "You want my ship?" He felt cold all over.

Lando gave him a winning smile. "As you recall, she was my ship back in the day. And how am I supposed to haul freight without a ship?"

"Get out."

The handsome man blinked. "What?"

Han stood and pointed at the door. "I said, get out of my house." He threw the flimsy in Lando's direction. "And take your lousy offer with you."

Lando didn't move. "I don't understand. I thought we were making a deal here."

"Not everyone can be bought." Han folded his arms and glared down at the gambler.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Lando's voice rang with anger.

"You'd make a deal with Darth Vader if you thought you could get away with it. Oh, wait, you already did. Kriffing mynock. Get the hells out of my house and never come back!" He grabbed Lando by his cape and hauled him to his feet.

"Han, wait. We should talk about this."

Han threw Lando toward the door of his office and followed with a right cross. "There's nothing more to say."

Lando held his jaw and looked at Han in shock. "You hit me!" He spat blood.

"It's the least I could do." Han rubbed his knuckles, as if readying himself to deliver another blow. Only the thought of Leia finding Lando unconscious on the floor of his office held his temper in check.

"You're outta your mind," Lando shook his head as he opened the door and walked toward the entry area of the apartment. "I came over here, tried to do you a favor, and this is the thanks I get?" He flipped around to glare at Han.

"Thanks? You want me to thank you? You're the whole reason I'm in this mess!" Han took a menacing step toward the gambler. "I ought to hit you again!"

There was a low growl, and Han recognized that Chewie had entered the living room and was warning him to calm down.

"What're you talking about? Look, Han, we've been over this. I'm sorry I got you sent to a bounty hunter. I don't know how many times I've got to say it before you'll believe me. I know it took you a long time to recover from being frozen in carbonite ..." Realization dawned, and Han watched Lando's eyes fill with shock and then regret. "That's what this is about, isn't it?" The man's voice broke as he spoke softly. "You never did recover, did you?"

Han shook his head, his anger fading at the pain in Lando's tone. "No, I didn't," he replied evenly, staring the bruised man dead in the eyes. The gambler looked away first.

There was a long moment before Lando, his jaw puffy and red from the blow, reached tentatively in Han's direction. "I don't want to leave things like this, Han." His hand touched the other's shoulder. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Han nodded reluctantly. "All right."

As they left, Chewie growled a stern warning, reminding Han to behave.

* * *

As Han guided the speeder across Coruscant, it occurred to him that he hadn't been behind the controls since the night of his near-miss with Leia. He tried to keep to the speed limit and remembered to be extra cautious when merging into traffic. Finally, he saw _The Rusty Anchor_ in his line of sight and pulled into the speeder lot. He had just started to feel like his old self when they entered the cantina and abruptly everything changed.

Like the night on the roof, the sudden transition from light to dark left Han unable to see. He stopped just inside the doorway, fighting a wave of panic. Maybe Leia was right. Maybe he'd never escort her to another evening function. Han focused on his breathing and tried not to hyperventilate. _It'll come back, it's only temporary ..._

"Han, do you want me to ..." Lando's voice sounded somewhere on his left, and he must have seen the panic on his friend's face because he discretely placed Han's hand on his forearm and guided him forward.

"Hello, we'd like a table for two, please." It was Lando's suave lover voice, and Han knew that their hostess must be a pretty woman.

As they walked toward the table, Han's vision finally started to clear. _Kest_, that was gonna take some getting used to. The bar was sparsely filled and, for that, Han was grateful. He hadn't felt this vulnerable in a cantina since he was too young to drink legally.

Once the hostess had seated them, Lando turned to Han. "You all right?" The concern in his voice grated on Han's nerves and he wondered again whether this had been such a good idea.

"I'm fine," Han growled. But he wasn't fine, and that became readily apparent when he found the lighting in the bar too dim to read the menu. Why had he chosen a dark bar for conversation? All his adult life, bars and cantinas had afforded him safety and comfort, the ability to blend in and lurk in the shadows. Only now the shadows had turned against him. Han felt sick.

Their waitress arrived, a perky young Twi'lek with bright eyes. Lando gave her his trademark dazzling smile.

Han needed a drink. But as he started to order, it suddenly occurred to him that he didn't feel all that comfortable drinking and driving. Hells, he didn't even feel all that comfortable driving without drinking. "Tonic water."

Lando eyed him curiously. "On the wagon?"

Han gave a grim laugh. "No. Not even close."

The gambler held up a hand to the waitress. "Give us a minute." Once she had left the table, Lando turned to Han. "Look, I can tell you're uncomfortable here. Why don't we go someplace else to talk?"

Han shook his head. "Won't make a difference."

"Sure, it will." Lando smiled engagingly at him. "There's a nice little bistro on the roof of my penthouse. Let's head back to your place and we'll take my speeder. I can take you home after so you don't have to worry about being out too late."

_Sithspit! _Han had forgotten about that. It had been early afternoon when they had left the apartment; why hadn't it occurred to him that he needed to drive home before dark?

Reluctantly, he nodded at the man in the cape, stood up, and tossed a credit on the table to cover the cost of his untouched drink.

* * *

Lando studied Han as his friend steered the speeder back to the apartment. The clenched jaw, his hands tight on the controls, the careful double-checking before every move - none of this behavior matched the Han Solo that Lando knew. It frightened him.

Like countless others, Lando had seen the unflattering news coverage of Han looking perplexed on the roof. He had assumed that the holoshill had painted Han in the worst possible light. But watching him now, Lando had the uneasy realization that the hologram he'd seen was just the tail of the bantha. Han was far more fragile than he had realized, and he was starting to understand why the man had hauled off and hit him. How long had Han been holding that back? Had his vision slowly been deteriorating all this time?

And perhaps the most troubling question of all: Why hadn't Han told him?


	7. Chapter 7

My thanks to GreatOne, ccp, StatsGrandma57 and Book girl fan for your comments, to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading and offering some very helpful suggestions, and to my son for humoring me in having a detailed discussion about Han and Lando.

* * *

After three Corellian pale ales, Han had to admit that Lando was right: venue really did make a difference. The rooftop bistro above the gambler's penthouse afforded numerous gorgeous views of Coruscant. As Han enjoyed a nerfburger, late afternoon faded into early evening, but the change in lighting was gradual enough to be relatively easy on his eyes. As night fell, durasheet lanterns in a multitude of colors illuminated the latticework that surrounded the small restaurant, lending a festive air. Han leaned back and breathed deeply for the first time in days.

Lando smiled at him. "You need to get out more." They had been talking politics and sports, topics that might bring other men to blows but were safe subjects for the two of them. The gambler gently steered the conversation toward riskier ground. "Why didn't you tell me you needed a night out? I would have shown up sooner."

Han shrugged. Evenings were usually reserved for Leia and the twins. But he caught Lando's real question - Why didn't you ask me for help? - and decided to answer it. "Didn't realize I needed it." He took a swig of ale and met Lando's gaze head on.

"It's hard for me to help if you won't talk to me," Lando chided. "I heard about your problem on the evening news."

Han shook his head. "Takin' my ship was never gonna help, Calrissian."

"I know that _now_," Lando said, rubbing his bruised jaw. Han gave him a lopsided grin and the two men shared a brief smile. When their mirth faded, the gambler placed both of his hands flat on the table, showing off an expensive collection of rings. "How about if I take your shipping company off your hands then, minus the _Falcon_?"

Han nodded slowly. "Might work. How much you offering?"

"Same as before."

Eyebrows furrowed, Han frowned at the man opposite him. "A pity offer?" His fingers curled in response and he had to fight to rein in his temper.

Lando quickly placed a hand on his friend's arm. "Let me do this for you, Han. I feel bad about what's happened and I know you blame me."

"I'm not some charity case!" Han spat out. As he pulled his arm away, he briefly considered decking the man again and walking out, but he understood that Lando was only trying to help. Gods knew, he could use all the help he could get right now, even if he was unaccustomed to asking for it. Clearly, Lando was a disaster at offering aid.

Han took a slow sip of ale and pondered his options. There wasn't much to think about. If this past week of interviews had taught him anything, it was that he did not want to supervise other pilots and handle their paperwork. And the credits from the sale of his company would help tide things over until he could figure out what to do next. Han had a wife and two children to consider.

He tipped his head at Lando. "Make me a reasonable offer and I'll take it. You'll need to hire two new pilots, though. Chewie's staying with me."

"Fair enough. Anything else?"

Han held his bottle of ale at arms' length and rolled it between his hands. "Yeah." He set the ale on the table and looked at Lando, an uncomfortable expression crossing his face. "Leia's got one of those fancy dinners coming up and ..." _I'm afraid to go out with her at night. I'm afraid I'll embarrass her._

He looked at Lando plaintively and the gambler easily read his unspoken request. "You want me to escort her in your place?" Lando gave Han a brilliant smile. "I'd be honored to attend with your lovely wife."

"It's just dinner, Calrissian," Han groused. "Nothing else. I know where you live." He made a mock fist and gestured at Lando's jaw.

The man stroked his swollen chin. "Understood."

* * *

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly as the men drank and bantered. Finally, Lando broke out a sabacc deck. "Care to play a hand?"

Han gestured at the mood lighting in the bistro and fought to keep his voice level. Admitting weakness was not his strong suit. "I'd need better light."

"Not with this deck, you won't," Lando said with a smile. He dealt two cards and waited for Han to pick up his hand.

"Hey!" Han grinned back at him. "Where did you find these?" The cards glowed in the dark.

"Specialty shop in Coruscant." Lando shared a pleased look with Han before his smile faded. "Leia called me earlier today, Han. She asked me to stop by. She's worried about you."

Han threw down a bet of three credits before responding. "Are you saying it was her idea to sell my ship?" More than a flicker of anger crossed his eyes as he studied his cards.

"Not at all." Lando matched the bet. "That was my bright idea. I thought it would depress you to keep the _Falcon_ around and not be able to fly it. Your wife merely asked if I could think of anything to help." He gestured at the glowing cards and the empty bottles of ale. "I doubt she had this in mind." He grinned at Han.

After several rounds, Han finished Lando off with an Idiot's Array. Once he had collected both the pot and the deck of cards, Han tossed a credit back at Lando. "To cover the cost of the deck," he explained. "I'm taking these cards home."

Lando nodded. "I thought you might." He paused, as if weighing his words carefully. "There's other stuff out there that might help you, Han."

The former spacer folded his arms and stared at Lando with a sullen look. "Don't go there. Leia's already nagging me to contact adaptive services." The thought of discussing his disability with strangers set Han's teeth on edge.

"You didn't call them before?"

Han shook his head. "Didn't need to before." It occurred to him that he had just admitted that he needed to now. Han signaled the waitress for another drink.

Lando eyed him curiously. "I thought you said this has been going on for awhile. I figured that was why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." Han looked away, took a deep breath, and sighed. "I was when it first happened." He stared at Lando until the gambler looked away. "But that was a long time ago." Drumming his fingers on the table, Han added, "Carbonite really messed up my eyes. It's like they've aged prematurely or something."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lando's voice was gentle.

"What good would that have done?" Han's ale arrived, and he grabbed it and took a long pull from the bottle. "It didn't bother me much at first." He shrugged. "Until recently I could mostly ignore it. But every year, the doc kept reminding me that my eyes could always get worse." He took another long drink and met Lando's sad gaze. "Even now, he's still saying that."


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the comments, GreatOne, Book girl fan, EsmeAmelia, ccp, and StatsGrandma57. Book girl fan: I made up the glow-in-dark cards, although something similar may already exist. I think, in Han's case, he'd need cards that were somehow illuminated from within.

This chapter is all Lando's fault. He wanted more time in the spotlight. ;)

My thanks to 2Old4This2 and my son for beta-reading. And a special nod to all three of my kids for helping to name Lando's droid, especially my youngest, who pointed out that the droid should be a girl.

* * *

_The walls of the living coffin closed in and Han could feel the cold tendrils of carbonite on his face. The vapor seemed to scorch as it filled his lungs, searing them, stilling them, making him gasp reflexively for air. With his last breath, he screamed for help, knowing there would be no one to hear him._

"Han? Han!"

Strong arms grabbed his shoulders. Han fought viciously against his invisible foe, his eyes open but useless in the dark. His fist connected with a soft stomach and Han heard an _oof_ of pain.

"Han," the man croaked, grabbing the blinded man's flailing arms and trying desperately to pin them down. "Stop it. It's Lando."

Instantly, Han stilled. "Lando?" he questioned, surprised at the ability to use his voice. He drew in a cautious breath and, thankfully, his lungs inflated.

Lando reached over to the nightstand with one hand and turned on the lamp; Han's memory of the previous night came back as his vision slowly cleared. He was in Lando's penthouse, spending the night in the man's luxuriously appointed spare bedroom after a late night of drinking. "That must have been some nightmare. You were fighting like a wampa."

Han gave a lopsided grin and gestured at Lando's attire. "Purple and green striped pajamas?"

Lando stiffened and let go of Han's other arm. "They're all the rage this season. Just because you wear the same outfit every day..."

"Whatever," Han replied. He drew his knees up and wrapped his long arms around them, cocooning himself in the richly embroidered comforter without even realizing it.

Lando studied his face, and Han felt strangely vulnerable. It wasn't that he and Lando weren't close. They had been friends for years, fought alongside one another in battle, played as partners in high stakes sabacc tournaments. But Lando wasn't in Han's innermost circle, that tight knit group of chosen family that he trusted implicitly: Leia, Chewie, Luke. No one else - save his toddler twins - saw Han Solo's vulnerabilities, and that was exactly how he liked it. But in the past two weeks, a damning holovid exposing his night blindness had hit the public eye, and now a well-manicured man in silk pajamas was staring at him with a mixture of sympathy and regret.

"You still dream about the carbonite, huh?"

Han thought about denying it, but he didn't see the point. His throat was hoarse; no telling what he'd been saying or how long he'd been screaming. "Sometimes," he admitted.

"I didn't think you remembered anything. I thought it was like you were asleep in there."

Han shuddered involuntarily. Afterward, he found that he couldn't stop shivering. "N-n-not exactly." It had been a long time since the memories of carbonite had triggered the chills. Han pulled his knees even closer to his body.

Lando frowned. "Are you cold? It does seem a bit drafty in here." He tightened the sash on his expensive robe. "I'll get Cleo to turn up the heat."

Han nodded. It would be too hard to explain that the cold was triggered deep within; turning up the heat in the room was unlikely to help.

Lando's C-L3O unit appeared in the doorway and he quickly dispatched the droid with specific instructions. Turning to Han, he said, "Tea should be ready in a few minutes. You need anything else?" The man's eyebrows knotted and Han realized with a start that Lando was worried about him.

With effort, he held his voice steady. "Nah, I'm fine."

Lando didn't look convinced. When the silver droid reappeared with a serving tray, Lando prepared Han's tea and handed him the cup. Han tried to hide how badly his hands were shaking, but some tea sloshed onto the silk sheets as he took the cup from Lando.

"Sorry," Han mumbled as he took a sip. The warm cup felt good in his hands and the hot tea slipped easily down his throat, helping to drive away the chills.

Lando shook his head. "Buddy, I had no idea." His face looked weathered and beaten as he folded his arms and stared at the floor.

Han wondered how many times he was going to have suppress the desire to punch Lando in a standard day's time. "S-s-stang it, Calrissian! L-let it go already. I forgave you a long time ago."

Lando looked at him sadly. "Forgive and forget, right? But you can never forget, can you, Solo?" He shook his head. "No wonder you won't confide in me." He stood and moved to the door. "I know you'd rather be alone right now, Han. Call me if you need anything." As he stood in the doorway, Lando reached over to turn out the light.

"Don't!" Han started, only realizing how weak he sounded after the word had left his mouth. "I'll get that," he clarified, dropping his voice an octave to its normal range. "I might ... uh ... watch holovision or something."

Han knew that Lando wasn't fooled, but the gambler let his comment slide. "Well, why didn't you say so? I've got 500 feeds to choose from." He approached Han cautiously and handed him the remote. "Care for some company?"

Han desperately did not want to be alone, but he was loathe to admit that to Lando. He shrugged at his friend. "Sure. Why not?"

The extravagant gambler sat down next to him and ordered Cleo to prepare them a late-night snack. Fortified with junk food, the two men settled in on Lando's spare bed to watch a cheesy holovid about space pirates.


	9. Chapter 9

My thanks to StatsGrandma57, EsmeAmelia, ccp, Pitdroid, Book girl fan, and GreatOne for your comments. Pitdroid: That's good to know about the eye transplants. I saw in Han Solo's Wookieepedia entry that he eventually winds up with a bionic eye in the EU. Why not two? It's food for thought, although I don't know if it will impact this story and AU or not yet. The future is always in motion ...

My continued thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading. :)

* * *

Han stood just outside of his apartment and took a deep breath. It had been a long time since he'd had a hangover this bad. The concoction that Lando had handed him earlier that morning had taken the edge off, but he still felt terrible. He had no idea when he'd fallen asleep last night, or, more accurately, this morning. He couldn't remember anything about the holovid after the opening credits, and when he had awakened, Lando was sound asleep in his own room. Han noted, with a bit of embarrassment, that Lando had left the lamp on for him when he'd left.

_Maybe Leia is at work_, Han thought with a touch of unjustified optimism. He activated the scanner and the door slid open. "Sweetheart?" he ventured cautiously. "I'm home."

She stormed into the living room from the kitchen. "Did you have a nice night out, Han? Drinking yourself into oblivion while I was home with the children?" It was a cheap shot, Han fumed, given what she knew he was dealing with.

"Hey, you're the one who called Lando," he said with a shrug.

"I didn't expect you to stay out all night!" she barked at him. Chewing her lip and folding her arms, she added in a softer tone, "I was worried about you. You didn't comm me until it was practically daylight." She walked over to him and he took her hand.

"I can take care of myself, Leia," Han said, although his mind flipped through memories of the previous night and he shuddered without realizing it. Lando had been willing to hire a driver to take him home when it became clear to both men that the gambler was in no condition to pilot a speeder, but Han had been reluctant to ride home alone in a strange taxi speeder after dark, nearly blind and vulnerable. He'd opted to stay overnight at Lando's penthouse instead.

"I know you can," she said, but he detected the doubt beneath her words and he pulled his hand away.

"I asked Lando to take you to the Coruscant Citizen's Ball," he replied, clumsily changing the subject. "Thought you might enjoy going with someone civilized for a change." He flashed her a cocky grin, even though his heart broke at the thought of her going out without him. He hated dressing up but he always loved having her on his arm.

She squinted at him then, giving him a look that said he had truly lost his mind. "Are you insane?" she asked.

"No, I just thought - "

"How do you think it's going to look when I step out with an escort weeks after you've announced your night blindness?"

"That's what you're worried about? What people are going to think about you and Lando?" He stared at her incredulously. "What about me?"

"What about you?" she yelled back. "You're the one who set me up on a date with him!"

"Guys, can you have this argument later? I really need to talk to you." As Luke stepped into the living room, Han jumped. His brother-in-law had only been standing a few feet to the side of him in the kitchen, but Han hadn't seen him. _Kriffing sithspit! If he'd been an assassin, I'd be dead. Or Leia would. _The very thought made Han shudder. _Maybe I really can't take care of myself. Or my family._

Han tried to cover his fear with forced casualness. "Oh, hey there, Luke. Good to see ya, buddy." He turned in Luke's direction with a puzzled look on his face. "I thought you went back to Yavin 4."

Luke, of course, wasn't fooled. Han knew that the kid could sense when he was upset and he wasn't at all surprised when his brother-in-law pulled him into a bear hug. "I'm here because of you."

Han looked from Luke to Leia, and caught a hint of amusement on his wife's face. He felt himself tense. "What's this about?"

His brother-in-law led him into the kitchen. "You might want to sit down first." As Han dropped into a chair, Luke sat beside him.

"I'll make us some tea," Leia said, deliberately turning her face away from her husband and brother. Han had the sneaking suspicion that he wasn't going to like this conversation.

"Where are the kids?" he asked, feeling cornered.

Leia answered, "They're at a Baby Cakes class with 3-PO." She handed Han a cup of tea and sat on his other side.

"Just spit it out already, Junior," Han growled. He sipped at the tea, trying to quell the growing nausea rising from the pit of acid formerly known as his stomach.

Luke placed his hands on the table. "Okay, it's like this ... The High Council granted me permission to open a Jedi Academy on Yavin 4." He tipped his blond head at Han.

His brother-in-law shrugged. "I know that already." What Han knew was that Luke had been dragging his feet about starting construction and no one really knew why. His indecision was driving Leia crazy and she'd already had to run interference between her brother and Mon Mothma over the delay.

"Well, you don't know this." Luke took a sip of the tea Leia had prepared for him, and added another dash of blue milk. "I had a Force vision last night that I'm supposed to open the Academy here. And you," Luke gave Han's wrist a squeeze, "are going to help me."

Han choked on his tea. "Me?" he spluttered. "Oh, no. You are out of your mind, Skywalker." Han glared at his brother-in-law and then at his wife. Leia simply smiled at him, although it bordered on a smirk.

"Well," Luke said, taking a sip of his tea, "That's why I came here this morning. This is an important decision. The fate of the future Jedi Order rests upon what I do today. I want to make sure that I'm making the right choice, not just doing something because I'm worried about the two of you."

Han and Leia shared a glance. Leia nodded at Luke meaningfully, and Han sighed. "All right, kid, what do you want us to do?"

Luke broke into a wide, sunny grin. He set his tea cup down with a clatter. "Okay, then. We're going to hold hands and meditate together." Han suppressed a snort. But he obediently held his wife's hand along with his brother-in-law's and tried to sit still as Luke began to talk. "Now, imagine we're walking together on a path through the forest ..." Han tuned Luke out and his mind began to drift.

_He was walking along a causeway in Coruscant, sweeping a hand-held sensor side to side to keep from falling into the abyss below ... __There was a shift in images, almost as if a new scene had been selected. __Now, he was standing in front of a group of young beings, using a small stick as a pointer. There was a stack of flimsies on the table in front of him, and Chewie picked them up and handed them out to the group ... Another shift in focus and Han was sitting at this same table, surrounded by jugs, cans, and flasks of alcohol. Most of them were empty. Han's hand grabbed the nearest bottle and he threw it against the wall where it shattered into a million pieces ..._

The crash of a tea cup hitting the floor awoke Han with a start. He jumped again as he found that Leia and Luke were staring at him expectantly. Han shrugged. "Why are you both looking at me like that?"

"Well," Leia explained, as she picked up Han's fallen cup and dabbed at the spilled tea on the floor with a kitchen towel, "I didn't see anything and neither did Luke. That leaves you." She pointed at her husband.

Han shuddered. "I fell asleep. I didn't have any Force visions."_ At least, none that I want to talk about._

Luke, still holding Han's hand, squeezed it reassuringly. "It's okay, Han. I know, it can be upsetting. But the future is always in motion."

"Then why bother?" Han wanted to jump up, to run away, but two of the people he loved most in the world were looking at him and sending waves of love and patience his way. Despite his fervent disbelief in the Force, he realized it was there anyway, guiding his actions at a subconscious level.

"Because I need to know if I'm on the right track and not just moving the school for my own selfish reasons." Leia patted her brother on the arm and sat down beside him.

"Well, I can tell you what I saw, but I ain't promisin' ya anything, kid." Han pulled his hand away from Luke and folded his arms. "I saw three separate images, almost like they were cards drawn from a sabacc deck." Luke and Leia looked surprised. _Maybe they were only bluffing when they said they expected me to have Force visions_, Han thought. _Well, here goes nothing._ "In one, I was completely blind." Han watched the color drain from Leia's face. "In another, I was sitting at this table, a raging alcoholic." Now, Luke looked pale as well. "But there was this other one where I was teaching a class. With Chewie." Han shrugged.

Luke gave him a wide smile. "Thank you!" he enthused and he stood to go. "Sorry to rush off. I've got a meeting with Mon Mothma in an hour."

"Now, hold on a minute, junior," Han growled. "This doesn't prove anything. You just said, the future is always in motion."

Luke gave him a sharp look. "And which of those three futures would you prefer?" He clasped his brother-in-law on the shoulder. "I love you, Han. I want to help give you the best possible life."

As Luke rushed off, Han rested his head on the table. This was entirely too much for him to absorb without more sleep. After Luke had left, Leia returned to the kitchen and kneaded his tense shoulders. "I love you, nerfherder," she whispered. "Why don't you go back to the bedroom and get some rest? I've got another hour before I'm expected at work." He smiled at her then, and she took his hand and led him to their bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

Super special thanks to my wonderful beta-reader 2Old4This2 for her advice and encouragement. I also appreciate the comments from Book girl fan, EsmeAmelia, GreatOne, and StatsGrandma57. Hope you enjoy this extra long chapter!

* * *

Han stood alone in the living room and stared at his comlink. _Why_, he wondered, _is this so kriffing hard? Just comm them._ But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Issuing a press release had been bad enough. Even the thought of admitting the depth of his disability out loud to a complete stranger made Han feel claustrophobic. Pocketing the device, he paced around the living room. Leia and Chewie would be back soon with the twins; C-3PO had asked for the day off to go visit Lando's droid Cleo. Han knew that Leia would ask, first thing. Did you comm them? How did it go?

_I need to get out of here_, he thought. After scratching a quick note to his wife, Han bolted from the apartment.

* * *

Walking along Coruscant's narrow walkways did nothing to calm Han's nerves. He found himself swiveling his head back and forth to account for the peripheral vision that he'd lost. When he spied the tavern, it seemed like a good idea to take a break.

Han readied himself for a sudden loss of vision when he entered the establishment, but it wasn't too dark and he was pleased when the change in light levels didn't affect him too badly. Instead of sitting in a dimly lit corner, as normally would have been his preference, he opted for a brightly lit spot near the bartender.

"What'll it be, Chief?" the burly Twi'lek asked.

"Whiskey," Han replied. "Corellian if you've got it."

The bartender's eyes narrowed and then widened in surprise. "Hey! I know you. General Solo, right?"

Han gave the vaguest of nods.

"Tough break about your eyes," the barkeep said. Han seriously considered walking out then, but the look on his face must have spoken volumes, because the Twi'lek handed him the drink without another word and turned back to his other customers.

Han finished two drinks and was in the middle of a third when he noticed that it was growing dark in the tavern. A glance outside confirmed his fear - he'd stayed too long and dusk had fallen while he wasn't paying attention. Cursing his inattentiveness, Han settled his bill and gulped down the rest of the drink before hurrying out the door.

_Kest! Such a stupid mistake_, he thought. _Just ten minutes earlier and this walk would have been easy. Well, there's still a little light. I'll just follow the streetlights._

But following the line of streetlights proved harder than Han had expected. Numerous speeder paths cut through the walkway he was following. Pedestrians had the right-of-way, but that didn't matter much at rush hour. Headlights hit Han's face at varying speeds and angles, creating a horrifying distortion of vision, made worse by reflections catching on the lenses of his spectacles. Han slowed his pace and fought a sudden wave of vertigo. He'd never before considered what it would be like to fall from one of Coruscant's elevated walkways. _Hells of a time to develop a fear of heights_, he grumbled to himself.

Slowing to clear his head, Han wondered if he should just head to a speeder taxi stand but it seemed ridiculous when he was so close to home. Debating with himself over the merits of catching a ride, he didn't notice that he was walking directly into a parked speeder bike until he had tripped over the kickstand. Reaching out to brace himself before impact, Han bore the brunt of the fall on his right wrist.

_Kriffing sithspit!_

"Hey, are you all right?" A hand appeared in front of his face and Han grasped it with his uninjured arm, letting the young man pull him to his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Han growled, thankful that at least the darkness hid the blush on his cheeks.

The young man didn't look convinced, and Han wondered if he, too, had seen Han on the holonews. _Maybe I really should get some new clothes._

"Where're ya headed?" the stranger asked. "I can give ya a lift." He kicked his speeder bike. "Least I can do after my bike tripped ya up."

Appraising the skinny kid, Han decided that a ride with this stranger was worth the risk. "All right." He gave the kid his address.

Hopping on behind the young man, Han wrapped his good arm around the kid's waist, and shut his eyes for the remainder of the trip home.

* * *

To say that Leia was not pleased was putting it mildly. Chewie had escaped with the twins to the sanctity of their bedroom, leaving Han to face his angry wife alone.

"So, you're telling me that - on my day off, mind you - Chewie and I took the twins out during their naptime to give you a chance to call adaptive services without distractions and you not only didn't call, you went out drinking?"

"I went for a walk," Han said, taking off his black vest one-handed and tossing it on the coat rack.

Leia's eyes narrowed at his actions and her voice softened fractionally. "What's wrong with your arm?"

Han looked away. "Nothing." He started walking toward the bedroom, where he could get a better look at the injury in private.

"Then you won't mind me doing this." Leia grabbed his right wrist as he passed by.

Han yelped and swore in three languages. "Kest, woman! What's the matter with you?"

Leia shook her head. "Let's find the medisensor." They walked into the refresher together. "How'd it happen?" she asked, reaching into the medicine cabinet and taking out the scanner.

He shrugged. "Just an accident."

"Were you hit by a speeder?" Leia's voice rose in pitch. "Oh, gods, Han. You should be evaluated in a medcenter. Come on."

He touched her on the arm with his good hand. "Leia." She looked at him then and he met her eyes briefly before looking away. "I tripped over a speeder bike. Kid was nice enough to drive me home."

Instead of laughing, as Han had expected, Leia merely put on her game face and began to wave the wand in slow arcs over his arm. "Just a sprain," she said, with a sigh of relief. "I'll go get the bacta patches and the compression wrap. Can you get that shirt off?"

He looked at her, eyes full of humiliation and pain, and she stopped everything to help him ease the sleeve over his swollen wrist.

"Han," she said gently. "You need help in dealing with this. You're not coping well with your night blindness. I'm scared for you. You won't reach out and that Force vision you had of yourself as an alcoholic terrifies me." When he said nothing, she hugged his bare torso and he wrapped his arms around her instinctively, wincing when his right wrist brushed her shoulder blade. She pulled back from him and stroked his face. "It doesn't have to be that way, Han. I know you're hurting, Sweetheart. You need to talk to someone."

* * *

"Han!" Luke groused. "You're not even trying." The Jedi glared at his brother-in-law. The two men were seated opposite each other on the floor of Luke's new studio apartment in Coruscant. The young blond man sat with perfect posture in the Lotus position, bare feet on his thighs, palms open, an exasperated look on his face.

By comparison, Han Solo sat cross-legged in spacer boots with his arms knotted, and he was listing sideways toward the single piece of furniture in the room - a ratty sofa that looked as if it belonged in the lowest level of Coruscant. He rolled his eyes. "Thought you said Jedis do, they don't try."

"You aren't doing anything either," Luke snapped.

Han shrugged. "I'm here, aren't I?" There was just a hint of challenge in his tone and Luke tried to remember that it was hard for Han just to be there, sitting in the younger man's apartment, letting someone else set the agenda. _Baby steps_, he reminded himself.

"All right," Luke said. "For this first lesson, just get comfortable in your own way. If you want to lay on the floor to meditate, go ahead." _I really hope that Yoda isn't watching me right now._

As Han stretched out his long legs, he said to Luke, "Explain to me again why I need to do this? I'm not connected to the Force like you and Leia. What's the point?"

Luke bit back a retort. When he spoke next, it was through clenched teeth. "The point is ..." Realizing that he was holding onto his anger - a path to the Dark Side - Luke took a deep cleansing breath before he tried again. "Look, you may never be a Jedi, Han, but that doesn't mean that you can't connect to the Force. The Force is in us all. Everyone has some Force ability even if it's very limited."

Han's voice reflected some of Luke's anger back at him. "But what's the point, junior?" His voice took on a more serious tone. "Why should I bother?"

_There isn't an answer to that_, Luke thought. _You should want to connect to the Force because it's there. You should feel drawn to it. Sithspit, Han, it's just the right thing to do!_

But he didn't say any of those things. Looking at his brother-in-law with compassion, Luke spoke from the heart. "I think meditating in the Force would help you deal better with what's been going on." He caught Han's wandering gaze. "It's a lot safer than drinking."

Luke felt a flash of anger from Han before the older man flushed scarlet and tucked his still-healing right wrist under his left arm. Leia had been beside herself over Han's injury, and she had comm'ed Luke and vented at length about her husband's night blindness and his poor coping skills.

Luke knew that he should feel flattered that Han had chosen to talk to him. But Han Solo saying that he wanted to share his feelings and Han Solo actually sharing what he was feeling were two entirely different things. To make life easier on his brother-in-law, Luke was planning to give Han formal weekly lessons in the ways of the Force. It was good teaching practice for him and it would provide a safe environment for the two of them to talk.

_Win-win, right?_ Luke shook his head. _Who was I kidding?_ Han, who had been partially walled off emotionally when he had arrived for this lesson, had now completely withdrawn. _This first meeting has been a complete waste of time. Maybe Han needs a real shrink. I was a boltbrain to think this could work._

When he realized that he was sinking into despair, Luke frowned at his brother-in-law, who was sitting with his arms and legs folded, body posture completely closed, staring off into space and brooding, looking thoroughly annoyed. _This is all his fault_, Luke thought darkly. _He never intended to take any of this seriously. He's just here to get Leia off his back._

Han's purported rationale for talking to Luke was that the kid already knew what he was thinking and feeling half of the time anyway. But Luke knew - as Han was so effectively demonstrating - that his brother-in-law could shield his inner self from Force users if he tried. It was one of the main reasons that Luke suspected Han had more Force sense than he let on.

Luke sighed. "Maybe we should stop for the day, Han. We don't seem to be getting anywhere."

Behind his glasses, Han's eyes narrowed. "So that's it?" His voice, tight and aggravated, reflected his tense posture.

"What's it? What're you talking about?" Luke stood up and stretched.

Han remained seated. "You say you want to open this Jedi Academy for kids, right?" Luke nodded. "How many of them do you think are gonna want to be there, Luke?"

That was not what he had expected Han to say. Luke stared quizzically at his brother-in-law.

"So, I'm not your easiest student." Han gave Luke an appraising look. "I can guarantee you, kid, I ain't gonna be your hardest."

Luke could sense Han trying to open himself up emotionally and he realized with a flash of insight that it was as unnatural to Han as remaining emotionally closed would be to Luke. He gave his brother-in-law a sunny smile and Han returned with a lopsided grin of his own.

"Show me that thing again," Han said. "The flower thing."

"The Lotus position," Luke corrected. He sat down in front of Han. "Okay, you start like this ..."


	11. Chapter 11

My thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading and helping me smooth the rough spots. My appreciation also goes to StatsGrandma57, Guest, GreatOne, EsmeAmelia, SwordMasterZ, and Book girl fan for your comments.

Guest: Great point about optical implants. I may go back and change the wording on that. EsmeAmelia: I'd love to see your finished drawing of Han in glasses.

A special note for those of you following my other unfinished story, _A Cause for Concern_. Yes, I am still working on it, but it is slow going. Thanks for your support!

* * *

Han awoke to the faint sound of crying. Jaina. Ever since Han's eyesight had worsened, he found it difficult to remain asleep. He was very sensitive to noise, especially after midnight when the apartment was nearly silent.

He rolled over in bed to look at Leia, still expecting to discern her features in the near-dark of their bedroom. Once again, he had forgotten his night blindness. Finding only more blackness, the knowledge of his visual limitations slammed Han in the gut. Again.

Leia couldn't sleep with a nightlight on, but after his diagnosis, she had insisted that they install one in their bedroom for Han. He had stubbornly chosen the dimmest light possible and had placed it near the door. As such, the faint light didn't provide enough illumination for him to see his wife, much less determine whether her eyes were open.

"Leia?" he whispered. Han reached out tentatively for his wife. Once his fingers touched her skin, they expertly danced over to the small of her back. Feeling the steadiness of her breathing, Han realized that she was sound asleep. Between the stress of guiding the New Republic and her worry over him, Han knew that Leia hadn't slept well in some time. It seemed that she was always tired, and he knew that she needed her rest. He'd best go and tend to his daughter. C-3PO was powered off for the night and Chewie was a sound sleeper.

Han tiptoed out of their room and walked down the hall toward the twins' room. The hallway was well-lit, with glow lighting gracing the edges of the walls. It reminded Han of the emergency lighting aboard the Falcon. He had scoffed at the idea initially, saying it would made their home look like a series of spaceport runways, but he was grateful for it now. The soft glow neatly delineated the dimensions of each room.

Except for the bedrooms. Like their parents' room, the twins' bedroom was significantly darker at night than the rest of the apartment. But Han knew his way around by touch, and he lifted his daughter from her crib and carried her over to the comfortable rocking chair. After a quick touch and sniff of her diaper - clearly not the problem - he sat down and began to rock her, stroking her hair and patting her on the back.

Jaina reached for the datapad on the adjacent nightstand. "Stowy!" she insisted.

"All right," Han agreed amiably. "Which story do you want?" he asked as he powered up the device, hoping it wasn't _Mynock on the Dock_. He'd never get back to sleep after reading about that mynock - not that he would ever admit this to anyone.

Jaina babbled a few words that Han tentatively identified as _Big Red Spaceship_. Good. Now, there was a story he could appreciate. He tapped on the cover image of the book and froze in horror. He knew the words were there, but he couldn't quite read them. Han set Jaina down on the floor in front of him and tried to calm his breathing.

She stood on unsteady feet and clung to his knee. "Stowy, Da-da! Stowy!"

"Hang on, Jay. I'm trying to fix something." Han tried to remember where the settings were located on this device; it was a simple one, preloaded with children's stories and made of some version of durasteel that promised to stand up to a barrage of toddler abuse. Han knew that there must be a way to increase the contrast, but he'd never had to use those controls before. It was hard to navigate the device in the dim light, but he didn't dare turn on the overhead lamp for fear of waking Jacen. One grumpy toddler was bad enough.

"Stowy! Stowy!" Jaina had ventured from his knee and, based on the sound of her voice, was now walking straight toward Jacen's crib.

"Stop it, Jaina! You're going to wake your brother!" As if on cue, a wail arose from the other side of the room. Han stood in frustration and hurried toward his son, accidentally knocking the little girl down in his haste. She had been hovering in the vicinity of his knees; he simply hadn't seen her. "Blast it, Jaina!" he admonished, and she began to wail.

Soon, three people were crying in the nursery.

/-/

After collecting his son, Han slid to the floor by Jacen's crib, a toddler in each arm. He held his children tight as he fought to regain control of his emotions. Jacen quickly stilled, and Han placed him back into his crib before turning his attention to Jaina.

"Sorry, Jay. I didn't mean to knock you down. I didn't see you there." He kissed the little girl on the head before returning to the rocker with her. He sat down carefully with his daughter in his lap, not wanting to risk injuring her again.

"Stowy?" she asked, ever hopeful.

"I can't tonight, Jaina." His words were heavy.

"Why?"

"My eyes don't work so good anymore, honey. It's hard for me to see in the dark."

Jaina was quiet for a long time. "Da-da sad." She patted him on the arm.

"Yes, honey. Dada's very sad."

Han and Jaina rocked in the dark for a long time. Neither noticed Leia standing in the doorway watching them, tears glittering in the corners of her eyes.

* * *

Luke finished the guided meditation. "Now, open your eyes."

Han Solo blinked, looking bleary behind his lenses. He gave Luke a shy smile. "I think I'm getting better at this." He eased into his familiar lopsided grin and folded his hands behind his head proudly. "Whatdya say, teach?"

The Jedi gently touched his brother-in-law's shoulder. "I say it's time for you to make that comm, Han. While you're still relaxed."

Han frowned and dropped his arms. Luke could almost watch the tension re-enter his brother-in-law's body as the man pulled out his comlink. "Hello, uh, is this adaptive services?" When a female voice answered in the affirmative, Han continued. "Yeah, well, I need to speak with someone." Before the voice could interject that she was someone, Han added, "about my condition."

"And what condition would that be, sir?" The voice sounded bored. Luke could picture a reptilian humanoid filing her blue nails - all thirty of them - as she spoke.

Han stood up and began to pace around Luke's small apartment. "Night blindness. And, uh, peripheral vision loss." He chewed his lip. Luke tried to project calming thoughts in his direction, but Han's inner walls were fully up by now.

The voice showed no reaction to Han's words. "Sir, you need to have form 275A filled out by an authorized medical professional before we can see you."

"You've got to be kidding me. I have to go down there and get a flimsy before I can go down there and see you!?"

"Sir, we can have a copy of the form sent to you for - "

"Never mind," Han cut her off. He ended the comm without waiting for a reply and looked at Luke, who was holding Han's nerf-skin jacket out to him. Han raised his eyebrows. "You don't mind taking me over there on your speeder bike?" He recited the address to his brother-in-law.

Luke grinned. "I don't get to ride it enough. Let me grab my cloak."

* * *

As Luke guided the speeder bike through the busy airways of Coruscant, he tried to gauge the mood of the man sitting behind him, the one with an arm wrapped loosely around his waist. Han wasn't actively blocking him; Luke knew that his friend's default emotional state was wary and closed. But with practice, Luke was learning to peek through the cracks in Han's mental armor. He caught a glimpse of fear, and surprisingly, a touch of relief. Luke knew that Han had dithered about making this comm and had probably only agreed to call today to keep Leia from nagging him about it. But somewhere deep inside, Luke realized, Han had known that it was time to reach out for help. Luke wasn't sure if this was a comforting thought or a terrifying one.

He parked the speeder bike at a nondescript social services office in mid-level Coruscant and both men hopped off. "You want me to wait for you here?" Luke asked, gesturing at the parking lot, knowing that Han relished his privacy.

The older man shrugged. "Might as well come in. Could be awhile."

Han's expectation was prescient; the lobby was filled with beings waiting for service. Some were missing limbs or other body parts, while others bore no obvious disability. Luke found himself wondering what sort of condition had led each of them to adaptive services. Han took a number and stood near the back, a scowl spreading like wildfire over his features. After a time, Luke took pity on him and reached out with the Force to comfort his brother-in-law. He was surprised to find a Force-sensitive sitting near him. As his Force-sense brushed by the young Twi'lek, she startled and stared at him.

"Hello," he said, looking down at her from where he was standing. "I didn't mean to scare you. My name's Luke." The room was so loud with scattered conversation that no one else seemed to notice them.

"Syylene." The girl eyed him warily. "You're one of them," she added, in heavily accented Basic.

"Yes, I'm a Jedi," Luke said proudly. "But you have Force sense too." He took a deep breath and forged ahead. "I will be opening a training center for young Jedi soon." Luke handed her a strip of flimsiplast with his contact information. "Perhaps you'd like to join us?"

The girl turned her head down and one head-tail drooped. It was only then that Luke realized she was missing her other lekku. "I am damaged."

Luke shook his head. "You shouldn't think that way. You are whole within the Force." Luke noticed Han moving toward the desk and realized that his number had finally been called. "It's been a pleasure to meet you, Syylene. I hope to see you again. I have to go now." Luke shook her hand and hurried to catch up with Han.

His brother-in-law was already demanding to speak to a supervisor. "I have everything you need right here," Han said loudly, waving a datastrip. "I don't need to fill out form 275A."

The clerk reluctantly called across the room and a pleasant-looking woman with loud attire and a green bouffant hairdo adorned with bows walked up to Han and Luke. "What seems to be the problem?"

"He refuses to fill out form 275A."

"I have my doctor's notes right here." Han shook the datastrip again. "I am not flying back to Talfaglio to have him fill out your stupid form."

Bouffant-hairdo blinked at him. "General Han Solo?"

Han stopped waving the datastrip. He looked slightly embarrassed. "Retired general, but yes."

"Right this way, sir."

* * *

Han broke into a wide grin and held out a hand when he saw who was behind the desk. "Melania Thorwain! How've you been? I ain't seen you since we outran that Imperial cruiser!"

The woman with the jet black hair smiled in return. She had a perfect set of dazzling white teeth and her lips were painted ruby red. "It's Melanie, now. And you? Which alias are you going by these days?" She gave him a wicked smile.

Luke looked between the two, appearing slightly confused. "You know each other?"

She held out a manicured hand. The ruby red nails matched her lips. "Melanie Thorwain. Old partner in crime of your friend here." The woman gestured at her wheelchair and added drily, "You'll forgive me if I don't get up."

As Luke returned the handshake, Han clarified, "Actually, Luke here's my brother-in-law." Sizing his friend up, he added, "Man, what happened to you?"

The woman didn't take offense at Han's bluntness, but she gestured at Luke to hit the button that slid her office door closed. Once the three of them were alone in the room and the men were seated in her guest chairs, she said to Han, "I could ask you the same thing. And, in fact," she added, pulling out a datapad, "I have to ask. What're you doing down here?"

Han shrugged. "You tell me. My wife thought you could help." He folded his arms.

Melanie quirked an eyebrow in an expression reminiscent of Han's quizzical looks. "You listen to your women now?" She shook her head and clucked her tongue. "My, my. How things have changed."

Han relaxed his posture. He gave her a lazy grin, just for a minute, before returning to the conversation at hand. "You never answered my question. What happened to you?"

"Blaster bolt to the back. Stopped my smuggling career cold." Melanie shrugged. "I was one of the lucky ones. Managed to turn my life around." She gave him an appraising look. "I saw you on the news. I've been keeping a file warm for you ever since. Told the floor staff if you ever wandered in, I'd take your case. Never really expected to see you, though."

Han recrossed his arms and stared at the floor, shaking his head. "Never thought I'd be here." He could feel his brother-in-law sending him waves of comfort from where Luke sat silently at Han's side. Han lifted his eyes and met Melanie's gaze. "I ain't too good at this askin' for help stuff," he admitted.

She smiled warmly at him and handed him the datapad. "Well, how about I make this easy for you then? You fill out this questionnaire and I'll figure out what you need."

Han froze, remembering the night a week ago in the nursery. One glance at the device and he could tell that it was going to pose a problem. Some datapads had too much glare; he'd need practice holding this one at different angles and distances from his eyes to see it properly, a demonstration of weakness that he was loathe to execute in public.

He handed the device back to her. "I have trouble readin' these sometimes." Han could feel Luke's eyes on him; apparently Leia didn't tell her brother everything.

"Well, I think you're going to like this one, then," Melanie said. "Drag your chair over here and let me show you how to adjust it." Han did as instructed and Melanie walked him through the ways to change the contrast and font size, increase the spacing between lines of text, and alter the font type. But it wasn't until she modified the background and text color that Han broke into a grin.

"Lemme see that," he said, yanking the datapad from her hands. He played around with the device for some time before settling on yellow text on a dark blue background.

"Not all datapads come with as many options at that one. But you can buy add-ons to upgrade the functionality of the others. It always amazes me that the default setting is black text on a white screen. That combination is hard for a lot of people to read."

Han looked at her gratefully and shook his head. "I had no idea it would make such a big difference."

She smiled back at him. "I've got other tricks up my sleeve. Fill that form out first so we can get the bureaucrats off my back. I've already forged form 275A for you."


	12. Chapter 12

My thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading and making such helpful suggestions. :) As always, any remaining errors are mine.

I also appreciate the comments from GreatOne, EsmeAmelia, StatsGrandma57, jeanmarie3, Pitdroid, and ccp. Thanks for reading!

GreatOne - Excellent point about Leia's reaction to Melanie. I made sure to touch on that in this chapter.

EsmeAmelia: Thanks so much for showing me your drawing. It inspired me to try one of my own, so I made it the image for this story. What can I say, I write much better than I draw!

* * *

"I'm going back to school."

Four pairs of eyes stared at Han Solo. The kitchen was silent, save the babbling of the twins in their high chairs.

Luke recovered his composure first. "I think that's a great idea, Han. What do you want to study?"

The man in the mauve shirt and patterned grey vest shrugged. "Dunno yet." He gave a crooked smile. "Melanie says that's part of the fun. And the New Republic'll pay for it as part of my re-training."

Luke shot a glance at his sister before returning his attention to his brother-in-law. It amazed him that Han and Leia could be so clueless about each other's feelings after so many years together. Han had no idea how jealous his wife was over his attractive new caseworker. Melanie had made several house calls in the past two weeks to assess Han's need for adaptive services. Part of his re-training involved going out with her at night so that Han could practice using a handheld device known as a sonic cane. Luke could sense his brother-in-law's increased confidence and attributed it to Han feeling more independent. Leia wasn't so sure.

"Oh, she said that, did she?" Leia sniffed. "Han, what are you thinking? I haven't seen you study anything more complicated than sports stats in the time we've been together."

Her husband shot daggers at her. "So, you think I'm stupid?"

_And Leia_, Luke thought, _has no idea how scared Han really is about going back to school or that he's only considering this to make sure he isn't a burden on her._

"I never said that." Leia busied herself with feeding the twins but wouldn't look him in the eye.

"I didn't graduate at the top of my class at the Naval Academy because I'm an idiot, sweetheart."

C-3PO peered at Han. "Captain Solo, I think I shall take my leave for the evening, if that's all right with you, sir." As Han dismissed him, Luke wished he could escape the tension around the dinner table as easily as the droid. He shot a glance at Chewbacca, but the Wookiee was studying Han intently.

Han answered the Wookiee's soft growl. "See, that's the beauty of it, Chewie. With this new datapad, I can record lecture notes and it'll transcribe 'em for me automatically. And I can get the course texts in audio format and this baby'll read 'em out loud to me."

Luke smiled at Han's enthusiasm. It was an unjaded side of his brother-in-law that he rarely got to see. With a sudden flash of insight, Luke realized that Han didn't hate school - he just associated academics with the Imperials. Talking about his education meant remembering the time that he and Leia had served on opposite sides of the war.

Luke sent his sister an urgent mental message: _Tread gently._

Leia flashed him an annoyed look. _It's all that woman's doing! She told him that he needs to grow up. She's even got him dressing in color!_

Luke tried to bite back the chuckle, but found that he couldn't help himself.

Han looked from Luke to Leia with a frown. "Care to fill me in, your Worshipfulness?"

"I hate it when you call me that."

"If you got a problem with me, sweetheart, say it to my face. Don't go talking behind my back ..."

Luke cut in before their sniping grew worse. "I was telling Leia that I only realized just now, Han, that you set aside your academic interests because they remind you of working for Palpatine."

Now, three sets of eyes stared at Luke. Chewie's head tipped to one side, as if he was trying to find a way to process this unexpected information. Leia quickly shifted her attention to Han, whose cheeks had flushed scarlet.

"Han, is that true?"

"I ... uh ... never thought of it that way before. But yeah, kid's got a point."

Leia studied him in amazement. "All this time, you've never said anything."

Han swallowed hard and locked eyes with his wife. "I can't talk about my time in the Academy without reminding you that I used to be Imperial Navy. I never want to do anything to remind you of that time, sweetheart," he said, reaching for her.

She took his hands in hers. "I've never asked you to give up anything for me," she said. Her eyes were misty.

Han shook his head, his voice thick. "I didn't. I've always loved flying and tinkering with spaceships more than anything. Still do," he admitted. After clearing his throat, he added, "But I gotta find something else to do now. Something that ain't so heavy on the eyes." He pulled his hands away from hers roughly, and looked away.

Leia grabbed his hands back. "So, you used to like to school. I should have realized that, Han," she said softly. "We've never talked about it before. What were your favorite subjects?"

He shrugged. "Languages. Geography. Engineering. Art History."

Chewbacca echoed Han's last words and gave a hearty guffaw.

"Can it, Fuzzball."

Leia repeated the subject as well. "Art history?" She barely stifled the giggle.

Han pulled his hands away from hers again and folded his arms. "It was either that or music appreciation. Had to have a cultural elective and dancing ain't my thing." But his frown quickly gave way to a sidelong grin and his wife soon matched it with a genuine smile. Before long, Luke had taken one twin and Chewie the other, leaving Han and Leia alone to talk in the kitchen.

* * *

"It's coming along, Luke."

Han Solo and Luke Skywalker walked across the construction site, clad in helmets not unlike those formerly worn by Imperial stormtroopers.

Luke gave him a sober look through the faceplate. "That's because of you, Han. I never would have realized that first contractor was a crook."

Han shrugged. "Something seemed off about that guy." In truth, Han was surprised that Luke hadn't picked up on that. But sometimes, even now, the farmboy could be a little too trusting.

They walked over to the durasteel beams that would one day support the arched entrance to Luke's Jedi Academy. Han pointed at a construction joint. "See here? That's welded good and tight." He slapped a girder. "This baby ain't never comin' down."

Luke's eyes drifted to the remaining rubble on the former Jedi Temple grounds nearby. He shuddered. "If you hadn't figured out that he was using inferior materials, who knows what might have happened." Luke's eyes fell to his boots.

Han slapped his brother-in-law on the back. "Kid, I been dealing with his kind for over thirty years. Hutt slime like that like to hang around sabacc tournaments and try to cut deals on tainted spice. I got a lotta practice with the bad side of human nature. Cut yourself some slack."

Luke dropped down on a rusted barrel. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this." He looked morose, an expression Han rarely saw on the younger man.

He knelt down next to him. "What's eatin' you, kid?"

Luke shrugged. "I wish I knew." He threw his hands into the air and began walking again. "I'm in over my head, Han," he admitted softly, looking earnestly at the older man. "I keep hearing my Uncle Owen's voice in my mind, saying my dreams are too big."

Han didn't know much about this Uncle Owen - Luke rarely spoke of the couple who had raised him - but he instantly disliked the man. He put an arm around his brother-in-law. "Kid, you're the one who told me that in this life we go where the Force takes us, right?"

Luke nodded.

"So, relax already." He stopped and turned so that he was facing Luke head on. "If you believe in this Force, you gotta get out of the way and let it do its job."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you gotta be thinking two steps ahead instead of worryin' about stuff in the past that ain't never gonna happen. Look, you made one mistake by hirin' that guy. So what?" He gestured at the skeleton of the future school. "That don't mean this whole thing is wrong."

"I guess you're right. Thanks, Han." The two men embraced briefly.

"Of course I'm right. I'm a scholar now." The older man puffed out his chest and gave the short blond a cheeky grin.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask. How was your first week of classes?"

"You mean apart from being twenty years older than everybody else? And having to sit in the front row so my datapad can record lectures without screwing them up? Or gettin' flimsies handed to me that I can't read until I'm at home in better light?"

Luke put a hand on Han's shoulder. "Yeah. Apart from that."

Han shrugged. "Kid, I'm feelin' a lot like you are. In over my head." He gave Luke his best crooked smile. "Let's hope this Force thing knows what it's doing or we're both in a lot of trouble."


	13. Chapter 13

Many thanks to 2Old4This2 for beta-reading. :)

A tip of the hat also goes to GreatOne, ccp, EsmeAmelia, Guest, Pitdroid, jeanmarie3, and bennijo for commenting on the last chapter. No worries, bennijo, if it's the "Han Solo in Shades" picture, I've seen that one and I agree, it's great!

* * *

Leia sat on a lounge chair on the balcony of her apartment, arms folded, wearing a deep scowl. Half of her hair was up, held in place by an elaborate jeweled comb, while the other half, still wet, hung limply in her face. She stared, unseeing, at the busy airways and extensive buildings, spires, and platforms that defined Coruscant's skyline. It was dusk - rush hour - and traffic filled the skies.

In two hours, Leia knew, a driver would arrive to take her to the Coruscant Citizen's Ball. Normally, she would have been brimming with excitement at the thought of a night out with Han. But this year ... she sighed. This year, Lando Calrissian would be her escort since Han was still adjusting to his night blindness.

She and Han had talked about the ball at length a week ago. Why, Leia had wanted to know, could Han go out at night with Melanie but not with her? And Han had explained - rather patiently at first, Leia remembered - that no one followed him around with a holocam when Melanie gave him nighttime navigation lessons using the sonic cane. Leia had bristled at the thought of Han's attractive case worker and had said that she hoped navigation was the only thing Melanie was giving him lessons in. Instantly, Han had risen to her anger. Would Leia rather he humiliated himself in front of the holoshills again? Maybe they could get another month's worth of fruit baskets out of it! And then he had stalked off and they hadn't spoken of the dance since.

Movement below attracted her attention and Leia's breath caught at the sight of Han stepping out of Melanie's air speeder. Wearing tan pants, a light blue tunic, and a navy jacket, Leia realized that her husband was starting to look more like a professor - complete with a pair of round spectacles and a knapsack full of flimsies - and less like a spacer.

She frowned and narrowed her eyes. It was all Melanie's influence. Even at a distance, Leia could tell that the woman's jet black hair was perfectly coiffed, her striking red lipstick expertly in place. Despite the knowledge that she looked a fright by comparison, Leia remained riveted to the chair on the balcony, unable to take her eyes off of the two of them. Han was laughing, a relaxed smile on his face, and Melanie reached over and gave his arm a squeeze. Leia rose in fury and was about to call out, when Han looked in her direction. He gestured toward the balcony with such an innocent expression of happiness that Leia's heart skipped a beat. As he turned back to continue his conversation with Melanie, Leia realized that he hadn't seen her, standing there in her robe with her hair a mess.

Two things struck her at once. Han had been talking to Melanie about her and there was no question in her mind of her husband's loyalty. His open expression had said it all. Her heart warmed with the knowledge of his steadfast love. At the same time, the fact that he hadn't seen her standing in plain sight on the balcony made Leia's stomach twist unhappily. Even after everything they'd been through these past few months - Han's near accident with the speeder, the trip to Talfaglio to see the retinal specialist, Han losing his captain's accredited license for the _Millennium Falcon_, his inability to read in dim light or walk safely in the dark - Leia realized that she hadn't quite accepted Han's disability. Her husband - her strong, self-assured, confident, cocky nerfherder - was visually impaired.

Leia found herself wiping back tears as a protective loyalty swept her heart. In the quiet space of the balcony, Leia made Han a silent promise. She would care for him and keep him safe now, the same as he had done for her all of these years. She would improve her marksmanship and carry a blaster when needed. She would earn her own captain's accredited license and learn to pilot his beloved ship.

As she was thinking these things. Leia watched as Han took a garment bag from the back of Melanie's speeder. He walked around to the driver's side and gave the attractive woman a hug. As Melanie spoke to him, Han again looked in Leia's direction, holding the garment bag, a wide smile on his face. This time, he squinted and waved.

It was then that Leia knew Han was planning to take her to the dance. He had asked Melanie for a ride to pick up his rented formal wear because he had wanted to surprise her. And that was why he had spent so many recent evenings out with his case worker - Han had secretly been practicing and preparing for this evening.

Leia waved back, her heart filled with love.

* * *

Han Solo grabbed his wife from behind and wrapped his long arms around her. "You look gorgeous in that dress," he whispered in her ear, dropping delicate kisses down her neck.

Leia frowned at her reflection. Their driver was due to arrive any minute to take them to the ball and she wanted to look her best. She studied the two of them in the mirror.

Han, as usual, had cleaned up nicely. A deep grey dress tuxedo complimented his moss-green colored tunic, and he had managed to tame his hair so that it was just a tad bit scruffy rather than its usual wild array. He was clean-shaven, and that plus the round lenses he now wore gave him an unusually earnest look.

Leia was less satisfied with her own outfit. The embellished dress with a sweetheart neckline fit too snugly around her waist before cascading into yards of fabric. She wore her grandmother's midnight blue embroidered shawl draped over her shoulders and carried a dainty beaded purse in one hand. The bag contained a small, concealed blaster and an unused glow stick in case Han needed light in the dim venue. A golden tiara bedecked in purple and blue gemstones matched the fabric and lace of her dress. It was in all, Leia thought, a bit too much.

After she adjusted the tiara and one of several jeweled hair combs, Leia smoothed the silken fabric of her dress where it puckered slightly over her abdomen. "Are you sure it doesn't make me look fat?"

"Sweetheart, I think you look damn sexy in that dress. Who cares if a few ruffles stick out?" Han slid his hand between the buttons of the bodice.

Leia glowered at him, swatting his hand away, as her comm sounded. Han was saved from a full-out furious tongue-lashing when she picked up the device and thumbed it on.

A holograph of her doctor appeared. "Oh, good. You're both there. I have the results of your tests, Princess Leia."

Han's eyes narrowed as he turned to face his wife. "Tests? What tests?" His words were carefully enunciated, the way he always sounded when he could barely contain his anger.

She stared at him, eyes flashing with annoyance. "Not now, Han," she hissed.

He folded his arms and glared down at her through his lenses. "We're talkin' about this later."

"Fine." Leia turned back to the doctor's image. "Did you find something to explain my fatigue and bloating?" Unconsciously, she smoothed the bodice of her dress again.

The man in the white lab coat nodded. "You've only got six more months to go." The doctor smiled.

"Oh!" The implications of that statement hit Leia instantly and she stumbled on her feet as if reality had set in with an actual blow. Now that the doctor had confirmed it, Leia realized that it should have been glaringly obvious. But she had been so focused on Han and his recent health woes that she had thought of little else. It was easy enough to blame her fatigue and erratic periods on stress.

Han steadied her, glaring at the doctor in the hologram. "Six months until what?" he demanded. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's pregnant, Captain Solo. You're having another baby! Congratulations!" The image winked out as the doctor ended the comm.

Leia returned Han's favor by grabbing his forearm as he swayed on his feet. He blinked back at her with a giddy grin. "We're having another baby!" he echoed. His voice was filled with awe.

She nodded and smiled at him. "It's a boy," she whispered. "Now that I'm looking for him, I can feel him, Han. He's strong in the Force, just like his siblings."

Han rolled his eyes and grimaced. "Just what I need. Another Force-sensitive in my life." But his expression soon relaxed into a genuine smile all the same. "I love you, Sweetheart." He pulled her into his arms just as Threepio called out that their driver had arrived.

Leia pulled back and rolled her eyes. "C-3PO has the worst timing." She gave Han a quick peck on the cheek before picking a few pieces of stray lint from his tuxedo jacket. "Let's go, Captain Solo."

He held their bedroom door open and gestured toward the hall. "After you, Ambassador Organa-Solo." Under his breath, he added happily, "And baby."


End file.
